Ring

I wore the ring today. I know, you as a reader have no idea what I'm talking about. If you've been here a while, you may recall my post about Danny, if not you can always go to the tags to the right, click people and find it.

He was the first guy I ever told anything about what I wanted. He knew that I wanted a sapphire and not a diamond. Yes, past tense, you may recall my posts about rings. If you have been reading, otherwise to the right the tag Other may help you.

Anyway, I bought a ring, from somwhere. Cheap imitation ring. Blue heart with two fake diamonds beside it. It's silver. Well was. I wore it a lot.

So yes, it's basically all about him.

I am going to get rid of it. I never could because I still cared about him. Even though I haven't cared about him in a while, I didn't get rid of it. For a time it was lost.

While I wore it today, I remembered all the good things. Well the time when things were good. The one time I was happy and content.

Once again I wish I was not so dependant on a relationship. I want to be happy without having to have another realtionship like hat (reffering to good times only). I know I never will. It wasn't real. Nothing was real.

Here (in life) there are too many other things, going to dinner, etc. I honestly can't imagine myself on a date with anyone, and certainly not a dinner date. I don't remember if I mentioned it, but I hate eating in front of people, regardless of whether they eat or not. I guess that's mainly because I eat more, or as much as anyone I know, inclduing the large guys. Plus to be realistic, there isn't anywhere other than fast food to go for a dinner date here.

Because of the not eating in front of others, I wonder how I'm going to get through that at prom. Well not so much wondering. I know I'll get through it, and everything else.

I know, here I start off talking about the ring, and here I end up on prom again.

I'm not 100% on going, but I'll go anyway. I'll blow all that money on one night and hope it turns out alright. Quite possibly I'll end up dancing with a stranger, which would make my dad happy. He still doesn't know that I actually danced with a guy at semi. I still wonder how I managed to do that. Of course I never let him touch me. But well it doesn't matter too much for that type of music. Now a slow dance with a guy, well that'd put all my father's fears aside, but I doubt that's going to happen.

Alright time to go make a new post about all things prom.